The Things Women Apologise for in My Treatment Room

There are certain things you expect to hear regularly when you work in a treatment room. Questions about skin, whether something is going to hurt, how long results will last and, occasionally, whether somebody is allowed to fall asleep during their facial. (The answer to that last one is always yes.)

What I hadn't necessarily expected when I first started working with women was quite how much apologising I'd hear.

Women apologise to me for their skin before I've even looked at it. They apologise because they haven't shaved, because their eyebrows have been neglected, because they've come straight from work, because they're tired, because they've got a spot, because they haven't been using the products they promised me they would use every night.

I've had women apologise for falling asleep during treatments, for talking too much, for being quiet, for asking lots of questions and for being nervous.

And I can promise you, I have never once sat there thinking, God, I wish she'd shaved her legs before coming in.

You Don't Need to Look Your Best Before a Beauty Appointment

There's a strange contradiction in feeling as though you need to look presentable before seeing the person you're literally coming to see because you'd like some help with your skin, brows or whatever else it might be.

You don't need to apologise because your skin is breaking out before a skin appointment. That's a bit like apologising to the hairdresser because your roots need doing.

If you've booked an appointment because your skin has been bothering you, I don't expect you to arrive with perfect skin. If you're coming to talk to me about sparse brows, you don't need to apologise because they're sparse. And if you're coming for a facial after an absolutely horrendous week and you've arrived tired, flustered and five minutes away from needing a good cry, you're probably exactly where you need to be.

My treatment room isn't somewhere you need to perform.

The Apologies That Have Nothing to Do With the Treatment

Some of the things women apologise for aren't even remotely relevant to why they're there.

Body hair is a big one. I cannot tell you how many women have apologised because they haven't shaved before a treatment where I wouldn't have given their leg hair a second thought.

Then there are the apologies for appearance generally. I've got no makeup on. My hair's a mess. I've put weight on. I look awful today.

Sometimes somebody will start telling me what's been happening in her life and suddenly apologise for "going on". Other times there are tears, quickly followed by an apology for crying.

You don't need to apologise for that either.

When you work closely with people, particularly over a number of years, appointments aren't always just about the appointment. I've seen clients through pregnancies, new jobs, break-ups, marriages, menopause, grief, stressful periods and huge life changes. Sometimes you talk about skincare. Sometimes you end up talking about absolutely everything except skincare.

That's part of the relationship, and it's one of the things I love most about what I do.

And Yes, You Can Fall Asleep

Please do.

I actually take it as a compliment.

For some women, an appointment might be one of the only times that week when they're lying completely still and nobody wants anything from them. There isn't an email to answer, somebody shouting "Mum", a washing machine beeping from another room or a phone that needs checking.

If your body decides that's the moment it's going to switch off, I'm certainly not going to be offended.

You also don't have to talk for the entire appointment. Some clients love a good chat and we put the world to rights, others want to close their eyes and enjoy an hour of peace. You don't need to entertain me while I'm working. I'm perfectly happy either way.

Please Don't Apologise for Your Skin

This one deserves its own section because I hear it so often.

Having acne, pigmentation, dryness, sensitivity, scarring, redness or simply skin that's having a particularly difficult time isn't embarrassing. It also doesn't automatically mean you've done something wrong.

There can be so many reasons our skin changes, from hormones and stress to medication, lifestyle, ageing and health. Sometimes you've also just tried every product TikTok told you to buy and your skin has finally had enough. It happens.

My job as a skin specialist isn't to inspect your face and decide how well you've behaved. It's to understand what's happening with your skin, listen to what's bothering you and work out what might actually help.

You never need to get your skin "good enough" before coming to see me.

You Don't Need to Apologise for Being Nervous Either

This is particularly common with aesthetics and semi-permanent makeup, and it's completely understandable. If somebody is about to put a needle near your face or make a change that will last considerably longer than your usual eyebrow pencil, you're allowed to have questions.

You're allowed to ask me the same thing twice. You're allowed to worry about whether something will hurt, whether your brows will look too dark or whether your lips will still look like your lips afterwards.

I'd much rather somebody tell me they're nervous so we can talk through what's worrying them than sit quietly pretending they're completely fine.

A consultation should never feel like you're wasting somebody's time. Part of my job is making sure you understand what we're doing and feel comfortable with it before we begin.

What I Notice Inside My Treatment Room

I think sometimes we forget that other people aren't looking at us with the same magnifying glass we use on ourselves.

You might walk into Meraki thinking about the spot on your chin, the fact you haven't had time to wash your hair or the brows you've been meaning to sort out for six months.

I'm probably thinking it's lovely to see you.

And then we'll have a chat, get you settled in, you'll tell me what's been happening since I last saw you and eventually we'll remember that we're supposed to be doing a treatment.

That's the bit I'd love more women to remember.

You don't have to arrive at Meraki polished, prepared or feeling particularly brilliant about yourself. You don't need perfect skin before a facial or perfect confidence before an aesthetic treatment. You certainly don't need to apologise for having a body that grows hair, a face that ages or a life that occasionally leaves you looking absolutely knackered.

Just turn up as you are and we'll take it from there.

BOOK YOUR NEXT APPOINTMENT